There’s more to you than you think. You’ve been taught that you are a separate person. You’ve been told that you have choices, that you have your own life to live. You’ve been told that you matter, that you have value. You’ve been told that you are valuable and good. But you’ve been told so many times that you have to learn how to stop thinking you’re separate from everything.
For some people, that can take the form of rejecting the idea that they are separate from everyone and everything. For others, it can take the form of being suspicious of everyone and everything, and in either case it can lead to a feeling of being worthless. Either way, there is a lot of truth to that. The problem is that these behaviors are not just negative thoughts. They are also self-centered behaviors that are not rooted in what you really believe.
For me, it’s been a long time since I have been self-centered, but I’m going to tackle that topic today.
This is something to be aware of when you are in a company setting. People are not all going to think like you do. They may be the kind of people who are always trying to be the best, but the truth is that there are very few of them. So even if someone you work with feels like you are the best, they will not necessarily agree with you.
I think this applies to almost everyone. When you are in a position where you feel like you don’t belong (or feel like your company is not a fit for you) you can think of yourself as being a bit selfish in some way. You are the one who feels like you should always be the smartest, the strongest and the most powerful. That is not where you are putting yourself, and that can create a lot of self-doubt.
Just because someone feels like you are the best does not mean they will be a good manager. If they feel like they are the best, they’ll probably be a lot better at their job than you, and they will probably have a lot more experience and knowledge than you. If they feel like you are the best, and you are not, then you can be quite a self-centered person.
Suggest y is a term coined by the marketing team at Netflix for movies like Stranger Things that have no plot, but only have one or two scenes in which a character suggests a movie as a movie. Think of it like a movie where the character says “suggest y” and then the movie ends.